Shoot Me! Bang! Bang!

riots

I don't feel like talking nowadays. I prefer to keep my mouth shut and my mind to go blank. No use talking, in the end its still the same feeling controlling me. I can't make myself feel better. Its hard enough that I end up sobbing instead. I don't even know the main cause of it, its a mixture of problems. I tried to laugh and not to think too much about it but I failed. Thanks to my girlfriends for being there always. Girls, u tried... the problem is with me. Parents not making the situation better either. They are not aware of anything unless if its with my brothers. I know I'm not a good daughter that you want me to be. Thanks for critising and making my self esteem go lower. I never asked to be born or to be a daughter. I guess it won't make a different whether I exist or not. I think its too hard for them to ask the children what's wrong. Sometimes what I need is a mom and dad who would listen and just comfort me that everything would be fine. I guess the children have to always understand the parents and not vice versa. Because whatever I state here, parents will always be right. I'm tired. I'm always tired although there's not much activity done. I end up sleeping most of the time and stonning. I'm getting weaker physically and mentally each day. I'm at my very low mood plus low self-esteem. Its been like this since a week ago. I just can't pull myself together.